5 Tips for Letting Go Of a Relationship After a Break Up

Letting go of a relationship isn’t ever a simple process. Even if you were the one breaking it off, it doesn’t mean it didn’t cause you emotional pain.

Regardless of who did the actual breaking up, just be sure that you’re giving yourself enough opportunity to heal so that you can move on with your life.

The following simple-to-do steps might assist you to let go of a relationship that’s come to an end. They may ultimately help you achieve much needed closure and perhaps minimise all the emotional upset that, unfortunately, is part and parcel of a break up.

1. Have Nothing To Do With Your Ex

Many people say that the worst thing someone can do is to stay in touch with their ex partner.

Staying “friends” is usually a big mistake. It can lead you to overlook and forgiving their flaws, and if you get back together with them again, it’s on the cards that you’ll go through another breakup!

When you’re letting go of a relationship, it’s best to delete their number from your phone, take them off your friend’s lists at any social sites you belong to, and just plain don’t get involved with them in any way, shape or form, until you’re in a better frame of mind to cope with the whole situation.

Cutting off all contact with your ex will speed up the healing process greatly.

2. Stop the “Blame Game”!

To be truthful, once you’ve ended a relationship, it really doesn’t matter whose fault it was. Instead of stressing out trying to lay blame for the breakup, start working on letting go of a relationship.

If you don’t, you could waste many precious hours mulling it over. You aren’t going to achieve a thing by reminding yourself of your short-comings over and over again.

If it was your fault, own up and learn from your mistakes. Commit yourself to improving how you behave in a relationship so that you don’t end up in the same ugly mess.

And, if the break up was all your ex’s doing, then just be happy that you’re free of the bad relationship and move on!

3. Put Those Memories Behind You

You need to avoid reliving all the memories of all the good times you shared with your ex. If you’re upset over your relationship coming to an end, then any reminders of the other person can be very painful.

A vital part of letting go of a relationship is “divorcing” yourself from the other person, both physically and mentally. If there are special places that remind you of your past relationship, such as restaurants, movie theatres, bars or even places like parks or museums, stay away from them while you’re trying to let go of your ex.

By discovering new places to spend your time, with friends or even by yourself, you’ll start letting go of a relationship, and begin creating “new” memories. If you make an effort to do this, surprisingly enough, in no time at all, you’ll be able to go back to those old venues without your thoughts constantly focusing on your ex boyfriend or girlfriend.

4. Don’t Bottle Up Your Feelings

It’s not psychologically healthy to keep dwelling on feelings of lost love, or the pain you’re going through due to the breakup. You need to let your frustrations, anger and resentment toward your ex come to the surface somehow.

Openly displaying your emotions can be extremely therapeutic, and it’s an essential part of letting go of a relationship.

This is a normal, and nothing to be embarrassed about. Some people use active methods of emotional release, such as exercise and working out. So why not join a gym class, take up yoga or meditation or participate in some sort of team sport…And, sometimes, even self-defence classes or karate, kickboxing or wrestling can help you to release your bottled-up feelings.

5. Take Time To Pamper Yourself

Focus on ‘YOU‘ for a while. Find time to do things that you enjoy and take care of yourself physically, spiritually and mentally.

For example, make sure you eat a properly balanced diet and let your hobbies and interests distract you from your breakup. Go on a vacation if possible, or spoil yourself by doing something you’ve always wanted to do, however never had the opportunity while in a relationship.

And, I’ve heard that “retail therapy” (a.k.a. a shopping spree) works wonders!

Soon, you’ll start to realise that life really is “live-able” without your ex after all.


By following some or all of these simple steps, you’ll discover that letting go of a relationship can be much easier than you thought. Giving yourself time will help heal those battered and bruised emotions and enable you to move on to better things, and people, in your life.

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